Obon Apart: Agree with Family Before Deciding to Travel

The hardest part of not going home may be making the phone call. You might be worried that a parent will feel forgotten, while they may be worried about asking you to travel. Begin with that uncertainty rather than treating a summer visit as already agreed.

On August 6, 2020, Tokyo's governor asked residents to refrain from trips and homecoming visits outside Tokyo and suggested telephone or online contact with family. This article follows that announcement and addresses that Tokyo context. Guidance and circumstances elsewhere were not automatically identical.

Make one decision together

Tell the people at the destination what you are considering and listen to what they want. If the decision is to wait, state it clearly to anyone who expected to share the journey. Do not leave a driver making arrangements because the family conversation has only happened privately.

Check existing bookings directly with their providers. Avoid making a new journey merely because another reservation might be difficult to change. Money already spent and the decision about whether to visit are related concerns, but one should not quietly decide the other.

Give the call a little shape

A family call can be easier when it has a simple purpose. Ask someone to explain an old photograph, show the dish they are preparing, or tell you about a familiar place near home. Choose something that does not require a special purchase or an extra outing.

If video is awkward, use the ordinary telephone. Agree a time that fits care, work and rest, and keep the conversation short if that is what the other person prefers. A good connection does not need a crowded screen or a lengthy programme.

Do not promise the next visit yet

It is tempting to soften disappointment by fixing another date immediately. Instead, agree when you will talk again. That gives the relationship a next step without creating another travel commitment that may also need to change.

One possible plan is a brief call before the household's usual meal, with no expectation that everyone stays on screen while eating. Another is an ordinary letter that can be read whenever convenient. These are alternatives to discuss, not a programme to impose. Ask which would feel welcome, and leave the recipient free to choose neither if the week is already difficult.

For people who usually enjoy the homecoming drive, this summer asks for a different kind of generosity: let relatives say they would rather wait, thank companions who accept a stopped plan, and make time for contact that does not depend on a car. Staying away can still include showing up for the conversation.

Historical references: Tokyo Metropolitan Government, August 6 / 東京都. Check current official information for any present-day decision.

Images and credits

Illustrative photographs; they do not document events or conditions on the article’s publication date.

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